Beauty in the Eye of the Beholder

January 2, 2012 at 9:27 pm 9 comments

English: Angelina Jolie at the Cannes film fes...

Image via Wikipedia

It’s girls’ night. You have all just had a delicious dinner at your favorite Italian place, the significant others have the kids for the evening, and you gossiped your way through two glasses of Merlot. Now you are waiting in line for the newest romantic comedy (sure they are all the same, but it really never gets old.) Due to the old ladies fumbling to find their change at the ticket counter, you all have gotten that much more time to gab. You inevitably start in on your body shape (or lack thereof.) Everyone is comparing flab and imperfection when it happens.  SHE chimes in.  You know who I’m talking about. The girl in your group that showed up in the skinny jeans and actually looked amazing in them. The one that makes you ask yourself, Has she ever even smelled a cheeseburger?! “Yeah, I know right?” says Miss Perfect Body. “I mean, oh my gosh, guys, look at my gross belly! Can anyone say ‘lipo’?” And you want to kill her right there. Kill her dead. You, who have always been so compassionate and charitable, contemplating the murder of someone close enough to you that she got the girls’ night invite. But really, who could blame you? She has a body that you are always wishing that you had, and here she is wishing it away. She doesn’t even deserve her good looks.

I know we have all been there. (If you haven’t, then you are that girl.) But it is really so frustrating when the ones you have looked at in admiration are seemingly squandering that same bounty that you have coveted. Obviously, many times they do it for attention. The “I’m so fat”  really means “look at how skinny I am.” But that isn’t always the case. I’ve known many a woman with a body that I would just kill to be sporting around town bemoan her somewhat fuller thighs or barely-there pooch. They honestly think that there is something that is wrong with their bodies. It is sad, but it has led me to an important revelation.

No matter how thin you get, there will always be something that could be better.

Everyone has those if-only dreams: If only I could be a size 6, if only I could lose 20 lbs, if only I could have a flatter belly, and so on. And don’t get me wrong; it is good to set goals. But if you think that just on the other side of some certain ridge you will find body-image happiness, you really need to stop and think. I don’t know if it is to be blamed on our society’s infatuation with the skin-and-bones version of beauty, or possibly its push to always have more, but whatever it is, there never will be a place where you will magically wake up being Angelina Jolie. If those skinny girls can find something to be fat about, I’m positive that I will always be able to look at my body and find one more thing that needs to be fixed.

Early on in this weight loss journey I realized that and I decided something important. I decided that I was not going to live in if-only’s. I refuse to always think that I could be happy with my body if…(fill in the blank.) How depressing is that? So maybe you couldn’t iron your collared shirt on my stomach, and maybe my thighs will continue to stick together like junior high girls going to the bathroom. I don’t care. I refuse to  be unhappy with myself, especially when I am treating myself so well. Me and my body have come a long way together. I feed her right and work so she’s healthy. I am not going to stand around and complain about how horrible she is.

And refusing to give in to that debilitating attitude has worked. I am not at my goal weight yet. I still can’t be labeled “healthy” based on my bmi, but I feel great. And even more, I feel like I look great, which in a way is even better. Don’t let your if-only woes keep you from enjoying your life, and don’t let it keep you from realizing what you truly are: an amazing, strong, and sexy person.

Entry filed under: Life. Tags: , , , , .

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9 Comments Add your own

  • 1. lovelotty  |  January 2, 2012 at 9:35 pm

    Inspirational and very much made me chuckle – I SO have several of these teeny tiny girls in my group! :)

    Reply
  • 3. Amanda Howell  |  January 2, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    I love it!!!! And the teeny girl in my circle is my sister. I’ve had 3 kids, my Mom has had 10…so we both roll our eyes at comments like “oh my gosh!!!! I need to start exercising again…I had to wear my size 4’s today cause I was too fat to fit in my 2’s.” Cause we’re both contemplating the fact that we’ve NEVER fit into a size 2.

    But honestly, I’m totally with you. Someone near & dear to me was making disparaging comments about their body and I told them, “your husband loves, and he picked you, and he still tells you you’re beautiful. When you insult your looks, you insult his taste.”

    I haven’t written on my blog in almost a year but I did a post on this very subject, lol. ( http://www.spitfiresworld.com/2010/05/23/seeing-like-a-man/ ) And I ended it with this verse: You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you. – Song of Solomon 4:7 (ESV)

    Reply
  • 4. Sara Houchin  |  January 2, 2012 at 10:05 pm

    Amanda the funny thing is I have had plenty of woe is me conversations with myself when we were teenagers wishing I was thin and pretty like you. This article is so very true, there is always someone who we will see as better looking, we just need to learn to love ourselves as is. This is something I struggle with still.

    Reply
    • 5. skinnygirlrobbins  |  January 3, 2012 at 10:19 am

      You have to change your brain first, and you do that by rejecting those negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones.

      Reply
  • 6. Deborah (Schmiet)  |  January 3, 2012 at 1:04 am

    I have a half-written post that’s a bit similar – in terms of wishing I was happier the way I was rather than waiting until I lose x amount of weight etc (though mine is in terms of getting my picture taken).

    I’m big on the ‘if onlys’ and use the phrase way too often. Sadly!

    Deb

    Reply
    • 7. Deborah (Schmiet)  |  January 3, 2012 at 1:05 am

      PS. Doesn’t stop me hating those people who whinge about their big backsides or their cellulite when they are size 0!!!

      Reply
      • 8. skinnygirlrobbins  |  January 3, 2012 at 10:17 am

        I’m with you on that one. ;)

  • 9. konica  |  January 11, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    very true!

    Reply

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